always nauseous and always aching, tired too i need a lobotomy where did this pain come from? i think it came from deep inside deep past my flesh: my muscles. my organs. and there it is the gaping hole that has been there forever, never, always it causes my pain and my misery? suffering? i'm not sure what to call it i live with the symptoms and i can cope (barely; i'm one more mistake away from crushing my head with a rock) normal teenage feelings they say hormones! hormones are funny arent they? they make me want to scream and rip everyone to fucking shreds, blowing my brains out afterwards is this poetry? is this beautiful? can i capitalise off of my instability? hatred. I FEEL HATRED, IM A BAD DOG, SNARLING AT THOSE WHO TRY TO APPROACH wow, i want to cut out my emotions, i see them growing out of my skin sitting there with broken glass at my feet and clenching my fists digging my nails into skin scratch scratch "nobody understands me" is a cliche but it's so fucking true they dont know my brain is a mess, like someone cut open the top of my head, scrambled it and spat on it and stabbed it and stitched me back up so no one noticed i stare at the wall wondering who/ what i could've been and i sleep lets do this again tomorrow.